If Only!

He was couple of years younger to her...and a junior in college
But right from the very first day she saw him..she knew there was something about him..and she also knew that he could sense the same

Though they barely spoke in the very 1st meeting..he was a little zombied fresher..and she was surrounded by her friends..and was a senior

And then in the next few months her life changed..as if all that she thought of love,all her naive feelings and innocent dreams, were coming alive..She was singing all her unsung songs..

She woke up with his thoughts in mind..drifted along the day in a dream..slept smiling at the world with his thoughts again
Everything she did, this constant feeling of him being around was there..maybe he would come to the canteen..or maybe she would see him running down the stairs..

They both knew there was something special goign on...even while she talked with him of other guys and he about other women...teasing..flirting..laughing..singing

He was like a part of her..yet so different from her..the beautiful medley of contradictions

And one day, when she was leaving that place for ever..having finished her course..he asked her out..and while they were together he held her hand for one brief moment..maybe a few seconds..and as if something melted within..she felt like an alien to herself...alien to this new feeling which was overpowering her

Then she left the place..and he wrote letters to her..but she dint know what she wanted out of this..she dint know if she could survive this love that she felt inside..but all the while, she couldnt think of anything else

And one day..when they met..and he said "I have a cursh on you..you must have sensed..tell me were you ever attracted to me in any way?"

And she lied...

cos she knew truth would land her somewhere she wasnt comfortable being..she wasnt comfortable being in love...so she said "No never", with as placid a face as she could manage
That was the biggest lie of her life...
On that he said "Thats ok..I wont keep in touch now cos I dont want to deal with one sided feeling".
She wanted to revert the whole thing..to let go of her inhibitions and tell him she has no other thought in her mind but him, since the time she met him..

but she wouldnt..that wasnt meant to be

And even today she wonders..would things be different if she had answered differently..should she regret?

On a hindsight she feels..it ended as it was meant to..beautiful as long as it existed

Tagged

I have been tagged by Raina. She had tagged me earlier but I never got around to answering them, as I dont take it as a time pass..but a huge task.
So here I go..as true to myself as I can get

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I was told that my mom and mausis were watching a movie "Phir bhi"(very lesser known) and they liked the name "Sumi"..and thats where my nick name comes from..and my mom feels that naming me after that character has affected my life too in some way :)

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
If crying means tears flowing out, then I cant really remember..or maybe I do..some days back when I fought with my sister


3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I used to..it has deteriorated with time..as everything else


4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Fish..it has Omega 3 you see..am a health freak


5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Not as yet..have planned many times though :)


6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I would certainly admire that other person..friends not sure of


7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
People tell me I do..but its never intentional

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Nope..was taken out when I was 11


9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
With time I have become scared of lots of things...so dont think I would do this


10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL
Musseli..fruit one


11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
I hardly wear shoes..but when I do..I usually untie them before taking them off


12. IF YOU WERE TO PICK YOU OWN FIRST NAME, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Definitely not the one I have...noone pronounces it correctly..hmm maybe a simpler one

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Not so much into ice creams..Vanilla my fav flaour if I have to choose

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
The way they talk..voice and mannerisms

15. RED OR PINK?
Red


16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Procrastination

17. WHOM DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Myself..as I was years ago

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
I am not tagging anyone..so no expectations in this regard

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Am not wearing any of those things right now

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Mar jawaan - Fashion..latest favorite

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Pink

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Davidoff Cool Waters..if you ask me perfume

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
A friend...

25. HOW DO YOU KNOW THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
My cousin

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Cricket

27. HAIR COLOR?
Brown

28. EYE COLOR?
Black

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Thai...any preparation with lemon grass and basil

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Dev D

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Thats a very lame and boring question..dont wanna answer


34. SUMMER OR WINTER
Winter

35. HUGS OR KISSES
Both..am greedy :)

36. DESCRIBE YOUR PENCIL CUP
I don’t have one

38. FAVORITE ARTIST(s)?
In which sphere?I need more specific question

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Lolita...its chilling

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Dont have one

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Watching Splirsvilla 2 right now

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S).
I wish I had so many favorites..

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Not into english much

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
US of A

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
So many...can dance, can sing(though some people might not agree with me), can write..and can cook well if given the recipe


46. WHERE WERE U BORN?
Patna

47. FAVORITE PIECE OF JEWELRY?
Junk jwellery..earing..bracelet...anything

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
Presumptuous question

49. FAVORITE SONG?
ALl favs cant be listed..but the latest is..Rehna tu..and mar jaawan

50.Favorite Musical?
Mama Mia..love the song "I see you slipping away each day" (Have not got the words right but loved the way it was picturised).Though I dont have a daughter but could totally get into the emotions