Ma

I dont think I can love anyone or anything more than you Ma
I just learnt that you have got ostoe arthritis
And I have been thinking how to alleviate this pain from you

I am sorry Ma if I shouted at you..cos I dint know what else to do
I am sorry if I am not as you might have wanted me to be..the docile daughter

But if you are not there with me..there is a void nothing in this world can fill
However much I get irritated with you..and shout at you
your sweet face and mannerisms..haunt me when you are not with me

I will do anything to be with you and keep you happy
But just that when you are with me..I turn into this extremely nasty person
Guess I can do it only with you...

Today in the morning you called me and were trying to explain something to me
And as usual I lost my patience and asked you to hurry up
You still continued in that sweet tone of yours..which makes me feel like a monster later

Do you remember all the times we had together
Some of the days just flash in front of my eyes..

I must have been 4-5 years old..and was riding a tricycle
You were busy cleaning clothes and seemed totally tired of it
I came to you and said..Ma where do you want to go..I will take you away from this work..you smiled and said anywhere..and kissed my forehead...
I dont know if you recall this..but I do..cos I felt..you saw in me something I dint know about myself

There are many such defining moments..but not enough words to express them

I dont know what will I be..if I dont have you in my life

To my sweetest Ma! I love you!

In rememberence

She feels like a parody of herself
trying to get the same exuberance back..which existed so naturally in her
trying to sing the same songs..which played on her lips all the time

She forgot how her eyes gleamed
how her foot danced
how her heart sang...the melody was long forgotten
But not so long maybe..she sometimes can still hear the reminiscent sounds

The head tilts the same way at times
The coquettish-ness comes back to her

Wooing the world..wooing herself..
Wooing the mystery that was her!