You said..dont love me..we are very differnet...
And I thought..Its sad..but I cant love some one like me ever

Dont know what it is

She dint know what it was..the new found haterd for him, or the earlier affection..which caused this uneasiness in the heart..
Or was it her whole premise of love which stifled her..caught her unawares..anytime
While she was travelling..or busy with some thing important..
It hit her..and she would get lost
Lost as a little girl..as she used to be earlier
Scared of ghosts..scared of dark..scared of love?
Took one step forward and then two steps back...
cos that one step taken dint land her anywhere
Reach out with child like eager..and then recoil..
To realize that what she wanted is not what she should have
She hears someone say "I love you"..but doesn't feel a thing...cos love doesnt come easy
She loves to hate and hates to love...

So I ask her to delete all pictures as well..from the canvas of her heart
I tell her not think of a moment..when she loved his cologone..
When all she wanted was to hug him and make him feel wanted
A moment when his face was bent on hers..and all she could see in this whole world was him...nothing else..absolutely nothing

She will forget..so will he... She will hate him..so will he...She would have regrets...so will he!
Is it how its supposed to be in the end?

Then guess let her have no beginnings...

Murmurs

Nothing much happens
A few glaces exhanged..a few words spoken
I hear footsteps..
but dont want to know who has come or who is going

Quietness eludes me..

I love sitting by the window..or did I just think I loved it?
Am no more sure of what I loved

Cross the coffee shop.. a faint breeze of memory brushes acroos
the talks, the coversations and the coffee..was it me?
That running around on the bike...the laughter ringing in my mind

Yes it was me..so very me!

On the streets..across the walls..at the hoardings and in the clubs
I see moments...written and re-written..
The assurance and reassurance of those moments stays with me

the sweet nothings and the bitter somethings..

sometimes a wierd thought creeps in my mind

Do people see me or my memories written large on my face?

Am I the whole me...or scattered in moments..

Moments are over...am I over too?

I push memories away...they form a cobweb around me

They say...life is a stage and we are all playing a character

Then why cant I play my favorite character always?

Silence prevails...as if to combat the loud muttering in my mind
And in the silence of night..all the unspoken words start talking to me

Of Astro...Occult...and Soulmates

I am reading an interesting book these days. It talks about magic, nature, astrology and soulmates.

I came across a very novel thought in this book, might be an old one, but kind of struck me.
It says that since the time this universe came into existence, not a single atom has been added to it.
Matter has changed forms, but the sum total from the beginning of life has been the same.

There are 2 ways to know magic in the world..Tradition of the sun OR Tradition of the moon..and both traditions say that all magic begins with search of the soulmate

And with this perspective, the author goes to explain the concept of soulmates...

At the beginning of life, there were very few people but with passing away of each person, the cells of his/her soul multiplied in 2 or more and got divided in different people.
One was male and the other female. Hence the number of people grew in this world.

So in life, one soul is always looking for its other part...and whatever a man does...how ever much he earns or gets power, his true happiness only lies in finding the other half of his soul

And if in one's life, even for some brief moments, one gets a chance to come across his/her soulmate, then all the moments before and after it are worth living..

So now the question comes if there is a possiblity that the soul gets multilied in more than 2? What happens then?
And answer is that it is possible and it leads to a lot of heart break and complications in life...and ends in loneliness!

It also says how to recognize your soulmate. You would see a light above the left shoulder of the person who is your soulmate.

I could imagine myself staring at left shoulder of all the guys I met...a funny sight though!

But inspite of few things which I dint understand in the book...which sometimes I couldnt relate to or grasp the essence of, it was a good feeling to know that there is a power above us. It comforted me to think that there are things which are not in my control, which are preordained.

It fills me with hope, belief in magic and all that it entails...