I have been practicing yoga off-late.
It takes a bit of me, outside of me, each time I do it.
Apart from all the difficult postures, and my aching body parts, there is one specific moment which scares me the most.
Its the shav-aasan(lie like a dead)
I have always been the one pretty sure of what I think and feel, but sometimes we see new things which shakes our perception about our own self.
So in this particular posture, all that one is supposed to do is lie down like a dead person, on your back and just relax.
The instructor keeps asking us to regulate our thought process.
He begins with "Concentrate on your body parts and observer them as a 3rd person"
Though I have a very wandering mind, I force myself to recall how my feet and toenails look like.
I try to think of my nail polish color and that sort of blocks away other thoughts and brings my meandering thoughts to a concentric point.
And finally he says, "Now stop all your thoughts and just forget"
That's the point when all thoughts come rushing to me
From the maid who is about to come in the morning..to colleagues..to work...every significant and insignificant in my life comes alive in my mind all together.
Like a jumbled up movie scene with grotesque sound track.
I am reminded of every hurtful thing said, any harshness I endured, all hurt and all pain hit like a barrage
It could be a way with yoga..maybe it tries to bring all of it to surface and then eliminate it all(can it ever??!!)
Like catharsis
I dont know, not sure of that feeling, but that's the point in yoga I wish him to end it fast.
I want to scream and tell him I got to go..am getting late for work..anything to run away
You said..forget the whole thing
And that's what I will always remember
