Rustic me

Urbane is not for me, its the rustic which always excites and unstiches me

I am trying to figure out that part in me which relents to something like that..

You appear as some one sauve and sophisticated with the right most expression and gravest smile on your face, but when you break into a punjabi gaali under your breath, thats when you make me smile

You are the graciosu lady who loves to be the perfect bahu, wife, giver for the world
But when you give in to hysterical laughter is when you make me fall in love with you

I guess we strive to find a part of us in any and everyone we meet..
that ME which resonated with something un-accountable in me

And when we see it somewhere..we run after that

Be it a song, a poem, a person...a moment..a love..a hatred..a madness..a sadness
Something which keeps reminding us of what we are...and keeps us alive

How can we ever get past us...and this "I" we so nicely concocted, and coveted

And so this song is also about me..

It does not belong to me in the first few lines
But when it breaks into tabla at 1.12 seconds..its all mine to claim..to love.to hate..to reminisce..to love..to cry..to belong..to disown...to just be ME

Raatein jaagengen raaton mein....Teri bemaani baaton mein..

While on the way to work, my iPod was playing this song:

"Hansne ki chaah ne kitna mujhe rulaaya hai"
(The desire to laugh has made me cry so much)

I dont believe in indulging in self pity, yet the simplicity of this song can melt you heart

The first line is so terrific, that each time I hear, it makes me think and feel different things.
And the soulful voice of Manna dey gives it the edge of hopeless melancholy

The flute which starts the song, sets the mood. It has a bong touch to it, reminds me of trees and shadows

Hear it if you like to be beautifully sad at times, and love your sadness

Zara zara behakta hai

...My body and heart are losing senses, slowly

This song can set me on fire any time
Whenever I hear it, it sounds like my long lost love

I have no idea what the lyricist, music director and singer planned to do with this song, when they created it
I dont know what exactly their vision was...

But they surely succeeded in devastating me..

Whenever I wish to be in that special place of mine, in my cocoon..I plug my ear phones and play this..and let the magic begin

Bombay Jayshree's voice here is like sheet of velvet, gliding down clear water

There was a time I had driven people crazy with this song..
If in a car, I would insist this song be played umpteen times..or in a party I would acquire the role of a DJ and make all listen to just this song, repeatedly

I first heard this when I was in Goa in 2001, this song had just come out I guess

I was with my sis, brother in law and a certain someone..whom I had just gotten to know and attraction was already in the air..sparks were flying

We were all playing cards
I remember being a little inebriated..I remember him siding up with me in the cards game...giving me that special smile intermittently and humming lines from this song..

"यूँ ही बरस बरस काली घटा बरसे, हम यार भीग जाएँ , इस चाहत की बारिश में ..."
I wish the dark clouds keep pouring just like this, and we lovers get drenched, in this downpour of love

He was a good singer

I cant forget how an inane smile was perpetually stuck to my lips, during the whole Goa trip and how this song refused to leave me ever since..

The smile faded and withered..but the song remains..it made me its captive

The other day, someone was playing this song on full blast in my apartment. I walked out of my flat, transfixed, and stood outside my door for a good 5 minutes to soak in this song in the air
No thoughts, no desires...just this song and my blank mind were together

Jagjit Singh

I had gate crashed his live show at Siri fort auditorium in Delhi. This was was some 14 years back. I was with my younger sis and a couple of her friends.

We dint have tickets and managed to make our way through the crowd and ran from under the arms of the security who was trying to push the crowd out and failed to notice us.

As soon as we entered the auditorium, we ran like headless chicken and plonked ourselves right in front on the stage, on the carpet(we did not have the gall to sit on seats after gate crashing)

When he began singing, I was a little disoriented since I could not make out if the voice was coming from him or every pore of auditorium was singing
The voice had the quality of all bass/surround effects which are available in the high-tech speakers of today

I just gaped at this good looking man, and lost myself in the voice
We were sitting right below his nose, and he could see us clealry..so in my mind I believed that some of his songs were directed at me :)

I had heard rumors of him being a womanizer, but his talent compensated for me, and I feel an era has ended with him

I have seen a lot of live concerts : Bryan Adams, Enrique..but his is the most memorable

Here is a lesser known song from him, but my all time favorite
What a heart-wrenching, defenseless love..this song portrays

मैं कैसे कहूं जानेमन, तेरा दिल सुने मेरी बात
How do I say it sweetheart, that your heart can hear what I have to say

My body was your abode

A lovely song from Company, haunting voice
I loved the video too

आँखों में रही, बाहों में रहो, पलकों में रही जुल्फों में रहो
ये सारे घर हैं तुम्हारे , जहाँ भी दिल चाहे रहो...

In love, your body feels like your lover's abode
The smell, the touch, the conversations
You carry it along, within you

पास हमारे आना हो तो, बिना बुलाये आ जाना

Love's pride and love's expectations are many fold

It wants you, yet it does not
Love wants things, without asking for it

आज न जाने ये क्या हुआ है, कोई जरा ये समझाए
इतना सुरूर छाया है, जी करता है मर जाएँ

Yes, I have lived this, many deaths and many lives,
Waiting for a word from your beloved
That one name on my cell, you were my happy message

I would wonder if sadness was a disguise for my love
If happiness was always entwined with the sadness

With you,I was always this molten lava, which no one dared to mold

I molded myself....into forms of your whims
Into somethings..and then into nothingness

A song, me and you

My heart feeds on memories..never forgets..never forgives

कैसे कहें अलविदा मेहरम
कैसे बनें अजनबी हमदम

Nights unleash the unknown
I have been a hoarder, I hoard smiles, touch, smell, conversations
But I dont know which part of my brain hoards things which my mind forgets in broad daylight

भूल जाओ जो तुम, भूल जायेंगें हम
वो जुनूँ वो प्यार के लम्हे ... नम

My heart is a simphon..it sucks in people
Like a black hole..it retains them
They can fight me..they can abhor me
But they have no other go, but to remain in the black hole of my heart

गेसू रेशम लब पे शबनम
जी जाओ जो तुम, जी जायेंगे हम
यादों के ज़ख्म पे, ज़िन्दगी मरहम

Tonight is the night which will be etched in my memory
Of the horizons touching and parallels meeting each other
Of phantasmagoria
And I watch, as my body betrays me

वो बहकता सा दिल, वो दहकता सा तन
भूल जाओ जो तुम, भूल जायेंगें हम

All pieces of my heart fell into place, in the contours of your face

वो रातें वो सहर,वो सुकूं के पहर
भूल जायेंगें हम, भूले क्यों हम मगर?

ये दिल ये पागल दिल मेरा
क्यों बुझ गया .. आवारगी


इस दश्त में इक शहर था वो क्या हुआ... आवारगी           

Bas ek chup si lagi hai

I learnt how to add music to my blogspot Yay!

I also learnt how to cut a portion of your mp3 file Yay yay!!

So to celebrate these 2 wins of the day..I am posting one of my most favorite songs here..needless to say it depicts my mood most of the times

And I can bet, there is noone like Lata..
Her lilting voice, this purtiy in her expression, beauty of loneliness...is breathtaking

बस एक चुप सी लगी ,
नहीं उदास नहीं ... बस एक चुप सी लगी है

कोई अनोखी नहीं ऐसी जिंदगी लेकिन, खूब न हो
मिली जो खूब मिली है...

सहर भी, ये रात भी, दोपहर भी मिली लेकिन.... हमी ने शाम चुनी है :)

So guys, enjoy it if you like it!

Rehna Tu...

Its Gulzaar (using "z" as per a comment from a friend that I use "j" where I should use "z") once again..but this time particularly for one song I chanced upon

Update - Sorry my sis told me it is Prasoon Joshi...I was being presumtuous here, but considering my love for Gulzar and the likeness of this lyrics with his style, I can pardon myself for this goof up :)

Its from this new unreleased movie "Delhi 6", music by AR Rehman..

The words make me want someone to write it for me :)

"Rehna tu, hai jaisa tu
Thoda sa dard tu, thoda sukoon
Dheema dheema jhonka, ya fir junoon"

Love the floaty feel of the words and the music..but would have liked it if someone else other than Rahman had sung it..he kind of takes away the romance from the song..reminds me of his "Vande Mataram" and I dont think I am supposed to feel patriotic for this one

But anyways...all that not withstanding..I am falling in love with this song...purely for its words

"Thoda sa resham tu humdum
thoda sa khurdura
kabhi to ad jaye ya lad jaye
ya kkhushboo se bhara"..

...hmm isnt that me? Sweet at times and bitter other times
At least in my imagination I am ...:)

"Tujhe badalna na chahoon
ratti bhar bhi sanam
bina sajawat milawat
na jyada na hi kam"

...dont we all want to be wanted the way we are..someone who loves us as we are?

"tujhe chahoon jaise hai tu
mujhe teri baarish mein bheegna hai ghul jaana
tujhe chahoon jaise hai tu
mujhe teri lapat mein jalana raakh ho jaana"..

such passion..love or madness..reminds me of ameer khusro's lines
"ishq mujhko nahin vahshat hi sahi" (Maybe I am not in love but in a madness)

I always imagined myself to be that "baarish" and that "lapat" that he talks about..someone who breathes in the very essence of me...burns in my magic :)

To Gulzar...with love

Gulzar is one lyricist whose lyrics have always enchanted me...right from my childohood

This one from "Kitaab"..."master jee ki aa gayi chitthi..chitthi mein se nikali billi"..loved hearing this song as a kid..fascinated by play of words...which dint have much meaning though..maybe thats why it was so much fun to memorize it


And as I grew..my idea of romance and love were so so besotted by his words..

"hamne dekhi hai in aankhon ki mehakti khushboo"...the idea of eyes having a fragrance was so intriguing..its as if the deeper senses within me were given apt words by him

and then "shaamen bujhane aati hain raaten...raaten bujhane tum aa gaye ho"...fills the heart with such a sweet feeling...inexplicable..wish I were him to be able to name this sweet feeling


Some of my other favorites:
"pahle se likha kuch bhi nahin..roj naya kuch likhti hai tu..jo bhi likha hai dil se kiya hai..yeh lamha filhaal jee lene de" - for someone like me, who lives in moments..and dies in them too..this is so apt!

"baadlon se kaat kaat ke..kagazon mein naam jodna..yeh mujhe kya ho gaya"--i wish someone sung this for me...

"khamosh sa afsana...paani pe likha hota..na tumne kaha hota...na humen suna hota" - for that unsaid unspoken love..a gay abandon in the words

"kya bhala hai kya bura..ho sake to jala dil jala" - another one from libaas..dont know why but feels very close to my heart

"sili hawa choo gayi...tumse mili jo jindagi, humne abhi boyi nahin" - romance accentuated by Lata's haunting voice..always created a pic in front of me...took me to sea side..beautiful breeze..hair blown away in carelessness...and lonely moon looking down at me

"bechara dil kya kare..saawan jale bhado jale" - as a kid I used to sing this song a lot..dint understand the meaning though..just the word "bechara" sounded fun so liked the song..but now I love the song for its simplicity..child like innocence...and depth

"Aapki aankhon mein kuch mehke hue se raaj hain" - As a teenager, I would stand in front of the mirror and imagine that my eyes were as myterious as the song's description

"Aajkal paon jameen par nahin padte mere..bolo dekha hai kabhi tumne mujhe udate hue" - This song always makes one feel the euphoria of new found love..when one is floating in air..gliding past days and nights in a sweet intoxication...at least I used to :)

I never seem to do justice to his works..there are way too many songs which have been with me all these years...maybe when I again feel motivated enough..would take some more of his songs


Thank you Gulzaar..for defining love and and pain...
giving us less mortals something to be happy about..even in sadness
for making my adolescence full of dreams..
And also corrupting it :) (Cos till date I look for someone who would say
"tum pukaar lo...tumhara intezaar hai")


You remind me of a time lost..an old world charm...retained in your white kurta..and that lilting voice of yours...which takes me far away...to my world


PS- my sis lived in a house bang opposite to yours in pali hills....and me and my mom would hang at our window to stare at you whenever you came in your balcony..we could see you in your kurta..working on something..and I would always wonder whats going on in your mind right now..are you thinking of someone..or writing a letter to a beloved :)

Songs...

We sisters were together over the weekend..and apart from all the gossip, dancing, merry making..we also have one evening full of songs....its an integral part of our get togethers..
And this time, one of Belu's friend was there, who is a semi-professional singer and Belu also sings with him in various programmes..

The whole set up was there..mike, guitar and people full of enthusiasm to sing..
And I realised, that songs have a strange way of uplifting humans(at least me)...

they uplift in their gaiety as well as in their sadness...
"दिल को समझाना कह दो तो क्या आसाँ है...दिल तो फितरत से सुन लो न बेईमान है..ये खुश नहीं है जो मिला..बस मांगता ही है चला..जानता है दिल की हर लगी का दर्द ही है बस एक सिला"..I hear this line and it feels like a part of me..and even if this line depicts sadness, it makes me smile and exhilirates me..cos of its capability to relate to my own senses..

Amongst all these beautiful songs my adorable niece comes

and says "Sumi mausi I want to sing ABCD on mike"..

and we let her do that..

I too make an attempt..inspite of Belu's dissuasions(She feels that anyone who does not sing professionally should not try to sing on mike...but I don't listen and always butt in)..I start off with "जाने दो ना, जाना जाने दो ना, मुझे तो जाने दो ना, छोड़ो बाहें मेरी मुझे तो जाने दो ना.. " not bad indeed!

Belu's friend sings quite well, though he has not learnt it..and is so passionate about it that his enthusiasm can get on to anyone...
Kishore..lata..shreya..we sing songs sung by all of them and many more..sometimes I am there and sometimes I am somewhere else...in my mind and heart..
"मोरा सैयां मोसे बोले ना.. " love this song by "Fuzon"...

And as the evening weaves a lot of forgotten scenes

in front of my eyes..I come to realise that good songs are

connection to your past and also an invitation to the future.