Love of unknown

It was an immoral rain yesterday. Unyielding, uncompromising, unrelenting.
A tyrant!

I came out of a shop, near my place and was blinded by nothing in sight but the downpour
I contemplated on my next move

I could go back and wait for the rain to abate.
But the impatient me, and the beauty loving me trashed this idea and decided to get soaked and walk till home.

But this city of Bangalore is not so much for such adventurers. It does not entertain whimsical wishes like these on unconventional days like this one.

Cos there were pools of water on both sides of the road, with just a thin pathway visible right in the center of the road.
I hopped onto that center patch of visible road and started walking on it. SO, I was waling right in the middle of a busy road

But the traffic behind me started getting mad. I continued snootily giving deaf ear to all of them, but after a while the nasty looks I got from all around made me relent.

I again had 2 options. I could go back and wait under any of the shelters around me, or step on to my left, where an unknown pile of dirt, ditch awaited me

For someone who looks out for dust in every nook and corner, who uses hand gloves when any washing has to be done, who has to wipe or dust any place she touches..the 2nd option was blasphemous

But I have no idea why, I chose the 2nd one.
I clenched my teeth, asked my heart and mind to stop for a second and without paying heed to any of my other senses, put my feet into that pool

I had an exhilarating experience of surrendering to the unknown , to the pull of a whirlwind I have never experienced
I kept walking, unaware of what was hitting my feet..and totally not bothered.

Cos I knew I was going home
And everything will be taken care of, once I am there

While I kept walking, a mad wish came to my mind..I wished I could do the same in life.
And for a second I thought it might be as easy as this.

Just plunge in, and get blown away to smithereens, by inexplicable emotions and feelings I have never found or searched within me

The unwanted can become the wanted..if they are the unknowns and the paradoxes

Today while coming to work my auto was stopped in the middle of the road, along with other traffic moving in my direction.

Some workers, who were working on broadening the road we were moving on, stopped us.
Reason - The bulldozer needs to come this way, from the opposite direction and enter this road from wrong side.

Whoa! And this happened right at Vellara Junction which is a prime area, just off MG and brigade road. To top it it was the peak traffic hour when all are moving towards their offices.

I started asking auto guy as to what was happening, since I dont understand Kannad(even after 8.5 years in this city). When he told me, I got furious and stepped out and told them to move away and let the traffic go.
Such work is not to be done during peak hours, plus getting that huge thing from completely wrong direction? Who does that?
Seeing me, the other girl in a car next to my auto started meekly too.

Those workers tried arguing with me for sometime. But since I wasn't relenting(and when I get furious no one can argue with me), they thought its best to tell me that they don't understand Hindi and cant speak to me
Oh, so after conversing with me for sometime in Hindi, they had momentary lapse of Hindi-knowledge?!

But thankfully my auto guy was decent and took over from me in their native language(not for the love of me but auto drivers hate wasting time in traffic and many a times would reject dignity of a red-light too)

So they had to finally stop from stopping us, before their bulldozer can make its grand entry.

But I was left wondering where can such bizarre things happen in this world?
I dont think metros like Delhi, Bombay are tolerant towards such idiosyncrasies.

Bangalore has yet to learn that it is also in the same league!

Life of a pedestrian

Not being able to drive and being averse to auto-wallas in Bangalore, I tend to walk a lot. But a pedestrian has very little value in the traffic scenario of our modern India(at least Bangalore).
Its at these times that I miss my 1 year stay in the USA a lot.

Back there, I felt so safe walking around cos I knew a car would first look for someone like me walking down the road, in the parking lot, around the corner..and then speed up. They have speed limits within residential areas, which is so very right and required.

I remember a friend in US telling me - "Yahaan pedestrians ki bahut aukat hai" (Pedestrians have a lot of value here).
Maybe cos they have so many rules and regulations and the fact that any and everyone can sue, at the drop of a hat.

But here, every place is a highway and you can speed up as you wish.
Even the pavements, which are meant just for pedestrians, is not left alone.
So many pavements are broken cos the bikers(sometimes cars too) ride on it since they don't have patience for the traffic, traffic light and the people

Where do we go then?

Sometimes when I am feeling nasty, I would stand on the pavement and not budge, if a biker tries to speed past. I do get nasty looks and rude honks, but I have become immune to those. And on some worse days, I even tell them to either get down from pavement or wait indefinitely cos I am going to stand there for an hour!

Near my house, which is a residential area and a lot of people are forever walking around, how can you zoom past? When you reach a corner and turn, aren't you supposed to slow down to see if there is anyone walking on the other side?And if you see me crossing the road, you can not honk and shout,cos there is very little I can do when I am right in the center of the road, at the verge of crossing to the other side, when a car suddenly appears from no where and wants me to yield. I will need a few seconds to reach either side.

You can not wish me away by just honking, I can not evaporate into thin air right in the middle of the road. So you got to have patience of a few seconds(yes that's all it takes) for me to cross to either side of the road. That's the only way its gonna work for both of us.

On another note, even though I love India and all through my stay in US I missed the buzz, the crowd, I do miss US at times. For small things, like someone holding the door for you(though at times I found it little irritating and condescending, since sometimes I used to be some 15 feet away from the door and someone, who was also going out, would hold the door for me and I would then try to run to alleviate him from that task), car waiting on me to cross ..and the likes.

My one year in US spoiled me so much and I got so used to these small things that once I was back,it took me a while to adapt.
I would nervelessly cross the road, even if I saw a vehicle at a distance, being sure it would slow down for me.Managing by a meager second, from being blown away.
I used to try walking past the door, if I saw someone going before me, thinking s/he would hold it for a second more, only to be rudely banged by the door on the face and saving my nose marginally from being smashed.

It took me a month to get adjusted, and back to my India and its glorious ways.

My first

So I had another of my "firsts" yesterday. Watched the India-Ireland match in stadium.
I had decided not to go, though my sister had come down from Delhi and she had passes for all of us.
Even my cousin and a friend had flown down from Hyderabad, just to watch the match.

But after Ireland's batting was over, I suddenly had this urge to be there. I thought to myself, Bangalore is offering me yet another first, and I should grab it.
So I rushed to at least watch the Indian side of batting.

And as I sat there watching, I had a few revelations: About myself and the match:
- That I liked being part of the Mexican waves which the crowd was making
- That the larger than life image of cricketers playing it out on the ground could sometimes look so small and achievable. I thought I could have ran better between the wickets :)
- That I sometimes forgot it was a real match happening right in front of my eyes, but many a times mistook it for large TV screen and some of the shots looked like replay.
- That at times when the batsman is ready to play and bowler is about to bowl, there could be one fielder near boundary, who is rolling on the ground, stretching his muscles, or getting some first aid done. Its not all "Action packed drama" on the field, all the time
- That crowd goes berserk as much for Tendulkar as for Yusuf Pathan.
- That people are camera crazy.

So my first ever "stadium-watching-match" was a world cup, in my city.

All this high..without a drop of alcohol!

And it has begun..this madness called cricket

Bangalore is hosting the India-England match which is this Sunday and yesterday I saw people thronging the Chinnaswamy stadium for tickets.

It was a mad rush around that area(and I cross it daily) with people falling on each other outside the stadium. There were some on the other side of road too, sitting on the wall and just staring at the ticket line.

Thankfully the traffic was not disturbed as police kept them in control. I was about to be impressed with improvement of law and order in Bangalore but I saw in paper today that there was mayhem on Wednesday night and whole of Thursday.

There was some blood shed due to laathi charge by police to keep the crowd in control. And this was just to get cricket tickets?

People spent their Wednesday nights in cubbon park, which is opposite to the stadium, so that they can be the first in line for the tickets, when it opened on Thursday.

I am amazed at such passion in people to watch a game and I wonder who these people are?

Students? Professionals(I doubt!)? Or just people who have nothing better to do in life?

Now I am scared what Sunday's plight would be, for common people like us!

It will either be that the whole city is clean and clear of any traffic cos everyone will be inside the stadium (which would be a relief) OR a madness on the road!

Yet to be mine

I never seem to call Bangalore as my own, though I have been living here for more than 7 years now
Don't know why this place or its people never make me feel like its home..
Maybe I am looking for some salvation, some sort of redemption from this place

Strangely my 3 and a half years in Hyderabad are closer to my heart..and I felt alive in that city
It could have been cos I was fresh out of college and with my new job..new friends..
Could be cos it reminds me of a taste of life which was so new to me then

I loved the ten downing streets, Ramada, Passport, Vice roy(This is now converted into Marriott)...
That beautifully lit city which was refelcted in hussain sagar..and the necklace road wounded around it

They have my smiles, my fragrance , my innocence ..
Even my house there, it has my memories..friends I loved and lost

Though Bangalore has given me much more than Hyd..

A better job, my own house amongst many other things...still I seem to be looking for something..something I have not found here...a feeling of oneness..a feeling of belonging

Though I had a fantastic time in my first 1.5 years in Bangalore, but I attribute it more to the compnay of my sis, niece and a friend who had become an integral part of my life..Bangalore looked be-dazzled back then..MG road, brigade and the barista were my home, I walked around like mad, just driven by conversations and laughter..this place had a shine and a vibration which went with those people



Read somewhere that the city you live in, invents a part of you which you had never known..and if you love that part, the city becomes a part of you too

I have yet to know what Bangalore invented in me

I have always believed one should have only those things in life which one owns 100%..be it appreciation for a job well done, or any thing you buy for yourself...

Anything half owned, gifted ..dont hold much value to me

So I guess till I own Bangalore, or it owns me..I will keep looking for my salvation

Airtel live!

I hate Airtel services, not the network but the customer care and their billing system.

I had to bear a brunt of it so many times.

Considering that everything I have is from AIRTEL, its a big mess at times.
I have airtel mobile connection + airtel digital TV + airtel landline and broadband.

And now I had to get rid of the broadband cos of some stupid reason like they don't have network in certain area, while BSNL can provide the same network anywhere.

I hate BSNL for different reasons, but then airtel has a very unethical billing system

Many a times I have seen the bills bloated, sometimes I was charged while I was not even in the country and later after a lot of calls and headache, I got it corrected.

The customer care gives some information and later they defy it.

I could pull a few string earlier, cos my bro-in-law was at a very high post in airtel, and could get my job done within hours. But now he has quit, much to my dismay.

My reason for latest agony arose when I paid a huge amount as safe custody for my landline connection, while my connection was actually disconnected and they are not able to re-activate it.

After some idiotic calls with customer care where they did not understand a thing and I had to repeat the same story 10 times, I finally went to the airtel office personally.

Even there, people gave me dumb looks as they dint have any answer to what had happened.

I was so distressed and out of my wits, that I started helping the bystanders with their issue :)

There was this guy before me, who was a little demure and timid kind and was checking about some deposit he had given.

The guy - "I had given the deposit but now you are not able to give me back the connection so I need the deposit back"

Customer care person - "So we need the modem back sir"

Guy - "But I told you that there was a theft my place and the thief took away lots of stuff along with modem"

Customer care - "But sir, we need it"

The guy is looking confused and pathetic

I butt in -"Can you tell me the price of modem?"

Customer care gives me a stare and tell in a confused tone -"Its 800 ma'am"

I - "Then can you deduct that amount from deposit and give him back the remaining amount?"

The customer care guy is looking amused by now and the demure guy is gaining some confidence and talking little more harshly by now.

add - "And I too have your modem and the phone set, so if you don't give me back my money, I am keeping both!"
- I sounded so childish even to myself :)

All this while I knew I was acting funny but could not stop, such things make me so mad!

Dealing with auto-wallahs in Bangalore

That's an ordeal..a daily encounter with auto rickshaw-wallahs leaves me cranky..each day!

Its like a roller coaster ride..it tries your patience..your self esteem..
you go from various emotions in those few minutes of getting an auto

The high and mighty look with which they ask you "where do you want to go?"
You hesitate,not knowing what the reaction could be..try to keep your calm and tell them your destination..

Now the reaction varies..if they don't want to go..sometimes they would not even bother to reply and act as if you don't exist and just wheeze past you without a 2nd look ..or give a disgusted shrug and move away..

Your confidence has gone down a little further..So when the next one comes along..you meekly ask if he will go to the place you want to..

If this one is a little more benign he would ask for an amount of "30 Rs" for a distance of just 1 km..and if you are not really desperate you would let him go (this time you would try to take revenge of the earlier attitude display of the fellow auto-wallah and try to redeem yourself with some attitude display from your side and let this one go with some disdain)

Sometime you would feel so exasperated by all the rejections by so many auto wallahs that finally you would be tempted to ask "I will go wherever your auto will take me..forget my destination!"

Sometime you would try to reason and discuss with them..as to why one should pay an exorbitant price for any place...but you know..you don't stand a chance

Their standard excuse is "we wont get any passenger from the place where you want to go"..whether it is a desolate area..or a crowded mall..or station..they have this patented reason for any amount they ask..and for any destination

Well..all said and done..I have somewhat come to terms with my relationship with these auto guys..and I take it with a pinch of salt..
Sometimes relenting ..other days preferring to walk a distance of 2 kms, if I am in one of my nastier moods!

Driving or Dancing??!!

These days I started learning driving and I am at a total loss...

First of all, why in India have they made it so difficult to handle a car..coupled with horrible traffic and mad sense of direction?

The trainer tells me "Madam, press the clutch, put it on 1st gear and then release the gear slowwwllly...!"..
I try and the car halts...he smiles "You will fail Madam, you have to make it real slooww..try again"..and I hold my breath and try to release as slow as I can..
And my mind wonders...by the time I release it..someone will come from behind and bang the car..
He keeps telling me"Keep your feet on brakes and clutch always..change to 2nd gear at crossing..accelrate and then change gear.." OH GOD!

All this reminds me of my dance class, where a lot of precision was required...the movement of hands..the degree at which it should rise and synchronize it with footwork..

But the trainer also tells me "App aur madam logon se better drive karti hain"..this gives me some confidence..

I asked my brother in law if he learnt it from a trainer..he said he learnt it just like that...by driving with his brothers and then on his own..
I really think its a great deal for people to handle a car in India..he says a woman should buy an automatic car..manual one is not their cup of tea..hunh..my foot!I will drive..even if I break my car..but I have to conquer this road

All the best to me!