We have divided ourselves in 3 parts - heart, mind and body. They refuse to be in tandem, for lesser mortals like me
And the body takes the last precedence for most of us, who allow our heart and mind to bog us down
Are we killing our sensuality in the name of morality?
I am sure the way I am thinking right now, I wont be able to think like this again..cos mind keeps fluctuating from right to wrong, from good to bad
Yes, right now I think we shackle our real selves by this thing called morality
Its not a societal thing, its not even related to our culture, or upbringing
Its something so deeply ingrained in us, that we have come to believe in so many things, which sometimes takes us away from ourselves
This is more contextual to we Indian women though..
Were we supposed to be like this always? Did God create us like this?
Am sure God did not think much when s/he created humans, we were supposed to be free spirits
Sometimes the weight of "forever" love, "one man-woman" thing interferes with our natural self and makes us forget what it is to discover the viler side(if it may be called so) of us
Do we realize we are made of cells, molecules and elements which we dint decide upon? That they act on their own will at times and we either obey them or be caught in the whirlwind of guilt and longing?
Can we lose control..can we let go of our obsession with being-in-control?
Even if we do, and when we do..we still have our caps.
We are still bound by notions of control,our limits..the extent to which we can stoop
Can we ever come to terms with our losing control and understand that it can be exquisite?
Why cant we treat our sensuality like a merit, a virtue? As something which we need to protect and nurture? Like we are taught to be good to others, speak truth always, why aren't we taught to respect this beauty within us? If speaking truth is right, why is addressing this part of us a taboo? Are we being truthful if we pretend that we are never amorous?
My sisters who are so happily married, and surely in love with the same person for so many years, would probably scorn at me for having such thoughts, but I really want to know
I am not talking about infidelity, or hurting someone
But just that at times, too much sense of right or wrong makes us all wrong for our own selves..for our sensibilities
We withhold, we stop..we wither away..
About Me
- WomanInLove
- I am not your mystery woman, I am not your muse..I am not your soulmate, just a passionate woman looking for her own peace of mind... Heart is a lonely hunter!!! "Within us there is someone who knows everything, wills everything, does everything better than we ourselves"~I guess this is Hermen Hesse
13 comments:
I am not sure I would be able to reply the way I want to…too many things are coming to my mind. But I think I understand this conflict (the word Kashmkas is appropriate than Khichtan :-) which I was thinking earlier). Though for me the conflict is btw Morality and the very Basic Need..it is raw and it is there and it should not be suppressed. Totally agree with the fact that, what you were thinking at the time when you were writing may not be the same person who is reading this reply. I think, that thought, that state of mind is so powerful yet so transient. I don’t want to go through that phase ever, it breaks me every time. Then, I guess it is inevitable.
I am not sure if I am eligible in terms on knowledge to comment on this as I have not really read or discussed this issue a lot but personally, I feel I am stuck many times between letting go of my self and holding on for the sake of some righteous virtue that maybe no one will ever appreciate. We are faced by such situations all the time, with ourselves, with friends, lovers etc. Sometimes, I put my conscience to sleep and go with the flow. Sometimes i regret it, sometimes i don't. Don't know how much sense any of this makes.
Kabir - I was in 2 minds before publishing this post, then I thought what the heck :)
Shades of gray - Its a very personal thing and I would not say anyone can tell you the right or wrong here. One has to see if its more of guilt(which is so often in women) which burdens you than happiness you get out of it, then one has to take a call and never regret it
Well, morality IS socio-cultural, created to establish order in society and control animal instincts and crime. Regarding sexual morals, those who profess and swear by it are sexually frustrated, deprived and lecherous, always yearning for the female/male body which they are hungry for and unable to lay their dirty hands on. As for the one-love, one-man woman or one-woman man concept, it is a creation of moralists and is an untenable concept; if people follow this, a large part of the human population would either commit suicide or live miserable lives.
Syed - But we do follow and at times, inspite of our basic instincts we think we are better off by not addressing them and then we can hold a moral stick on others just cos we have kept things in control
Hmm.. I don't have answers but I think some of us who are restless eventually wish to be tied down by conventions when we find the 'right' one.. and then in the process we wish to tie our right ones.. jealousy and possessiveness is also a part of our upbringing..
There is very less scope in the society we live in, for a person to question what's right and what's wrong. It's been passing on since so many generations that now we take them for granted. We should question everything almost once. I may not be able to connect directly with your theme, but I did really connect with the reasoning.
Aria - Very true, sometimes virtue is just a means we use to protect ourselves against hurt.
Spectator - Sigh..we create our own scopes and then blame society
Please don't 'hold a moral stick on others' or be judgemental; live and let live. Those who preach morality are generally sick/perverts; don't join their Party.
Syed - I dint say thats me, but many of us do that. I do see this one-man-woman thing a lot around me. I dont judge them if they are great or not..but they tend to!
This post is too generalised in fact for me to make any sensible comment. Impetuously speaking, any discussion on morality vs. sensuality inevitably boils down to one basic question: are the so-called moralists getting their sensual dues from time to time? As long as they are getting, peace will prevail! ;) Thanks for sharing the insight ma'am... Good wishes..
Destiny's child - Yes its a little generalized cos maybe I dint have the guts or sensibility to get into details :)
hahaha yes and it doesn't matter much anyway :)
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