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I am not your mystery woman, I am not your muse..I am not your soulmate, just a passionate woman looking for her own peace of mind... Heart is a lonely hunter!!! "Within us there is someone who knows everything, wills everything, does everything better than we ourselves"~I guess this is Hermen Hesse

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

His antics and my heart

 He comes near me and sits quietly, tired from playing in the playgroud
Very unlikely for him to be so low, given his high energy levels, at all times

I tell him I need to go, for some work
And he, inspite of his low energy, squeaks "नहीं, तुम मत जाओ " (No, you don't go)

My love for him finds its roots, and I stay back for a few minutes, all the while trying to distract him with something
"I will get you more mentos (his favorite toffee)"
And for once he is not excited, his face shows his disinterest and he does not smile

"Show me your drawings, what did you draw today"
His governess shows me, while he unwillingly and half heartedly participates
And the very next moment he is back to "Don't go please"

Sometimes your heart just fills with love, and saddens at the same time.
With all the premonitions...
The future of him growing up and growing apart,
Me going out of his life..
All that in just that moment of sweetness, when he so wants me around him

I try again to take his mind off my going away, while I attempt tp quietly slip out

"Look at this song on TV, its so nice..your favorite"
 "When this song finishes, then you can go"..he tries to bargain, and looks up at me..to delay my going

And I love him a little more..if thats possible!

I tell him "I am just going to Sony world(a place near his house) and come back soon"
And his face lightens up

He goes to the couch and lies down face flat
I ask him "whats wrong?"
He says "निन्नी आ रही है "(I am sleepy)..and he really looks so tired and sleepy

I ask him to give me a hug,he opens his arms and as I hug him he says softly
"You are goign to Sony world na? Go to and come back soon!"

I just wish he forgets that I promised to come back, and is cheerful once he wakes up..which am sure he would be

My guilt of lying to him, weighs me down...

Oh the million ways this heart can break!



2 comments:

Unspoken said...

Ohhhhh he is gorgeous! Your love for him is familiar. My daughter pulls on my heart like this often. I am torn in a thousand pieces and would have it no different if it meant I would not know her.

WomanInLove said...

She Writes - Thank you, kids are such, in their sheer innocence