It was Christmas time, a log time ago
Something looked very mysterious about the way clouds overdid the sun and candle lights would show up in houses during day time.
It made me dream and imagine things I cant put my words into
We had tenants who were christians and had invited us to a chirstmas party that year 25th december
But the cold grew into chilly waves and my father decided against going anywhere..
I was (and still am) the kind of person who has to see a plan take off and get done
It makes me edgy, lost and feel like a loser if I dont execute something I want to..or planned
So I fought and argued but at the age of 10, there is hardly much you can do or control anything
So that 25th December sat heavy on my heart for years, tormenting me in various forms
How we always want to live a part or a moment we could not,
How it torments us, that kandeel(paper lamps) I imagined and could not see comes in my dreams and even waking moments
Its something I was supposed to live but did not
That same moist sunless day tantalizes me with some promises, promises which it did not make but I held it reposnsible for
Those childhood/adolescence particles of hope and desire and magic never let go of us..has us in its grips for life..more so if they are unfulfilled
Something looked very mysterious about the way clouds overdid the sun and candle lights would show up in houses during day time.
It made me dream and imagine things I cant put my words into
We had tenants who were christians and had invited us to a chirstmas party that year 25th december
But the cold grew into chilly waves and my father decided against going anywhere..
I was (and still am) the kind of person who has to see a plan take off and get done
It makes me edgy, lost and feel like a loser if I dont execute something I want to..or planned
So I fought and argued but at the age of 10, there is hardly much you can do or control anything
So that 25th December sat heavy on my heart for years, tormenting me in various forms
How we always want to live a part or a moment we could not,
How it torments us, that kandeel(paper lamps) I imagined and could not see comes in my dreams and even waking moments
Its something I was supposed to live but did not
That same moist sunless day tantalizes me with some promises, promises which it did not make but I held it reposnsible for
Those childhood/adolescence particles of hope and desire and magic never let go of us..has us in its grips for life..more so if they are unfulfilled
2 comments:
blessings....
As children under that care of adults there is little we can do and even less we can control. Children must abide their parents whether right or wrong, their word is law. The plus of things is that the dynamics with time will shift and what we do, how we do it, when we do it, for whatever reason sits squarely in our court because we are the master of our faith/destiny as much as the Divine grants us anyway.
Peace.
Glad my post brought forward a plan of action to usher in much self-satisfaction, control and peace of mind.
Thanks Rhapsody, liked what you said about how the dynamics shift!
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