After hearing about possibility of 1 in 10 of a child with DS from anamoly scan, I visited my gynae at the fag end of the day
Dont know what I expected, maybe some miraculous wordsm but what she said went in haze for me
She started preaching me on what a child with DS can have a life, and asked if I wished to confirm it
I said what if I wish to have the child any which way?
She said - Then dont get this expensive test done, if your decision is made, go ahead
I came back so quiet, my mother was also quiet. It was just the 2 of us(its mostly just the 2 of us)
When there is too much happening inside you, and noone to actually blame for it, you go in a shell
When we reached home, it was late, and by then I had a plan...I wanted to get a 2nd opinion as anamoly scnas are not a 100% diagnosis. With that in mind, I felt lighter and thought of telling it to the husband
I called him on face time pretty late and told him whatever happened in the scan and that I wanted to get a 2nd opinion.
His exact words said with a very sheepish, guilty face " meri maano to test kara lo, you should learn and read about DS more and understand what a life with such a child can be. You should take an informed decision"
INFORMED DECISION!
When people say such amalagm of words which sound politically right yet dont make any sense, I shut down completely.
What does that mean, that I either abort, or continu pregnancy in distrubed state of mind?? Cos nothing can be done about DS in the womb!
Basically these words were just a disguise to tell me to end it
But I ended the call, telling him that it was a mistake to call him
After that I knew that thic child and my destiny are together. I am the sole person to decide on pregnancy, and also whatever follows after delivery(if the baby has DS). But in none of it, ending the pregnancy was a choice
After that days went in a haze
There is a much proclaimed scan center in bangalore where getting an apoointment is a pain
My borther in law stood in line at 6 Am the next day to get it, I got the appointment on the same day at 1 PM, I took half a day from office and reached the center on my own while my sister and mother came there to join me
I waited in a zoned state and held on to my gut when the doc started it, my husband is in healthcare and somehow got contact of this doctor and the doc already knew me and my trepiditions when I went to him
He vehemently rubbished all the soft markers(be it the nose, or the feet ) which actually came true(yet DS)
I heaved a sigh of relief and went about pregnancy happier.
When Aaru, Araadhya was born and 9.34 AM on a wednesday morning on 30th July 2014, I heard my gynae shout "Its a boy", my husband cut the umbilical chord and brought him to me and one look at his gorgeous face and the all my remaining fears were gone
I kissed his forehead and happiness spread like a drug in my blood
I felt so so so proud
During my 6 hours of recovery, I was dying to go out and see my people. To feel the shared happiness. To live this pride with them
I was restless and called upon nurse so many times to ask when can I be released

2 comments:
Hmmm.
Life, art everything is about emotions and emotional reasons when you strip it down to essentials. Emotions are why we live; reason is how we should live.
Nice. Thank you. Hugs.
You may want to read this link:
https://gma.yahoo.com/exclusive-dad-refused-son-down-syndrome-speaks-later-145706488--abc-news-parenting.html#
Thanks.
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