I haven't been well for 2 weeks or so..my old perpetual stomach issues
Cant eat, cant survive without eating..its a catch 22 situation
My parents and I always feared it has to do with some serious problem inside my stomach..and it needed an endoscopy to be done..which is a painful procedure where they put in a tube inside your mouth till stomach...
But this time around I thought I would do it..once and for all know what the issue is..
And surprisingly everything is perfectly normal..even the ultra sono-graph says "Essentially normal"
I was quite pleasantly surprised (but the fact remains that my stomach does not still behave it self)..
Inspite of me letting my body go through so much of atrocities like outside food, bad food, irregular food habits (comes with being on your own) and alcohal..it still has retained its vital organs in its normal conditions
So I thought I owe it to my body, for being so fine with my bad habits
At least now I should have a good and better food regime..
Lets see how much of it I follow!
About Me
- WomanInLove
- I am not your mystery woman, I am not your muse..I am not your soulmate, just a passionate woman looking for her own peace of mind... Heart is a lonely hunter!!! "Within us there is someone who knows everything, wills everything, does everything better than we ourselves"~I guess this is Hermen Hesse
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Father's day
Today is father's day.. I wasnt aware of it...I knew its in June but dint know the exact date.
Incidentally I was cleaning up my place and all the junk it held and I came across some of the letters and cards which my father had sent me long back..more than 10 years ago
He had written so many things to me..how he was so proud of me..how he missed me at home and so many other things...
I think I took it all for granted back then..cos I knew I was important to him and his writing all that to me just meant assertion of all the facts that I already knew
But now when I look back...now that our interactions are so less..and our fights so much more..the past means so much to me
To know that there was a point when we were so close...when we could talk about just anything under the sun
I thought of him as the smartest and the brightest father in the world..and I still do.his passion for chess(which made us know of most of the chess moves), cricket, tennis, books, science and so many things made me think there is not a single thing in the world that my father does not know about
And I took him to be a super human..incapable of follies..and I guess I erred there
And now..why has it become so difficult to be the same..why have we become so distant? We just call and talk about inane things...
Sometimes I am left thinking...
Does my father know that his daughter sometimes cries for no reason..that at times she spends her days thinking of past and doesnt want to live in the presnt..
Does he know that this life he brought into the world..isnt happy with the world and the people in this world all the time?
Incidentally I was cleaning up my place and all the junk it held and I came across some of the letters and cards which my father had sent me long back..more than 10 years ago
He had written so many things to me..how he was so proud of me..how he missed me at home and so many other things...
I think I took it all for granted back then..cos I knew I was important to him and his writing all that to me just meant assertion of all the facts that I already knew
But now when I look back...now that our interactions are so less..and our fights so much more..the past means so much to me
To know that there was a point when we were so close...when we could talk about just anything under the sun
I thought of him as the smartest and the brightest father in the world..and I still do.his passion for chess(which made us know of most of the chess moves), cricket, tennis, books, science and so many things made me think there is not a single thing in the world that my father does not know about
And I took him to be a super human..incapable of follies..and I guess I erred there
And now..why has it become so difficult to be the same..why have we become so distant? We just call and talk about inane things...
Sometimes I am left thinking...
Does my father know that his daughter sometimes cries for no reason..that at times she spends her days thinking of past and doesnt want to live in the presnt..
Does he know that this life he brought into the world..isnt happy with the world and the people in this world all the time?
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Massakali jara mattakali
Some body asked me today..hey I do not understand the meaning of this song.."massakali jara mattakali..tadi se mud ada se ud..chal fur fur..tujhe hero banana re.." do you get it?
I could not reply for a second..and then I smiled within..and felt like telling her..
If this song does not stir something in you..if it does not make you feel light and vibrant and smile...how can I explain it..
No I can not....how does one define meaning of words and sentences which are meaningless yet express a lot?
well you would understand this song only if you are one "masakkali" ;)
Sunday, May 10, 2009
The sea that never was...
I thought there was a sea inside you
So took a plunge to discover its mysteries
But I erred, marred by my vision
Cos the water was shallow
And I got hurt
By the shallowness of your being
So took a plunge to discover its mysteries
But I erred, marred by my vision
Cos the water was shallow
And I got hurt
By the shallowness of your being
Thursday, March 19, 2009
If Only!
He was couple of years younger to her...and a junior in college
But right from the very first day she saw him..she knew there was something about him..and she also knew that he could sense the same
Though they barely spoke in the very 1st meeting..he was a little zombied fresher..and she was surrounded by her friends..and was a senior
And then in the next few months her life changed..as if all that she thought of love,all her naive feelings and innocent dreams, were coming alive..She was singing all her unsung songs..
She woke up with his thoughts in mind..drifted along the day in a dream..slept smiling at the world with his thoughts again
Everything she did, this constant feeling of him being around was there..maybe he would come to the canteen..or maybe she would see him running down the stairs..
They both knew there was something special goign on...even while she talked with him of other guys and he about other women...teasing..flirting..laughing..singing
He was like a part of her..yet so different from her..the beautiful medley of contradictions
And one day, when she was leaving that place for ever..having finished her course..he asked her out..and while they were together he held her hand for one brief moment..maybe a few seconds..and as if something melted within..she felt like an alien to herself...alien to this new feeling which was overpowering her
Then she left the place..and he wrote letters to her..but she dint know what she wanted out of this..she dint know if she could survive this love that she felt inside..but all the while, she couldnt think of anything else
And one day..when they met..and he said "I have a cursh on you..you must have sensed..tell me were you ever attracted to me in any way?"
And she lied...
cos she knew truth would land her somewhere she wasnt comfortable being..she wasnt comfortable being in love...so she said "No never", with as placid a face as she could manage
That was the biggest lie of her life...
On that he said "Thats ok..I wont keep in touch now cos I dont want to deal with one sided feeling".
She wanted to revert the whole thing..to let go of her inhibitions and tell him she has no other thought in her mind but him, since the time she met him..
but she wouldnt..that wasnt meant to be
And even today she wonders..would things be different if she had answered differently..should she regret?
On a hindsight she feels..it ended as it was meant to..beautiful as long as it existed
But right from the very first day she saw him..she knew there was something about him..and she also knew that he could sense the same
Though they barely spoke in the very 1st meeting..he was a little zombied fresher..and she was surrounded by her friends..and was a senior
And then in the next few months her life changed..as if all that she thought of love,all her naive feelings and innocent dreams, were coming alive..She was singing all her unsung songs..
She woke up with his thoughts in mind..drifted along the day in a dream..slept smiling at the world with his thoughts again
Everything she did, this constant feeling of him being around was there..maybe he would come to the canteen..or maybe she would see him running down the stairs..
They both knew there was something special goign on...even while she talked with him of other guys and he about other women...teasing..flirting..laughing..singing
He was like a part of her..yet so different from her..the beautiful medley of contradictions
And one day, when she was leaving that place for ever..having finished her course..he asked her out..and while they were together he held her hand for one brief moment..maybe a few seconds..and as if something melted within..she felt like an alien to herself...alien to this new feeling which was overpowering her
Then she left the place..and he wrote letters to her..but she dint know what she wanted out of this..she dint know if she could survive this love that she felt inside..but all the while, she couldnt think of anything else
And one day..when they met..and he said "I have a cursh on you..you must have sensed..tell me were you ever attracted to me in any way?"
And she lied...
cos she knew truth would land her somewhere she wasnt comfortable being..she wasnt comfortable being in love...so she said "No never", with as placid a face as she could manage
That was the biggest lie of her life...
On that he said "Thats ok..I wont keep in touch now cos I dont want to deal with one sided feeling".
She wanted to revert the whole thing..to let go of her inhibitions and tell him she has no other thought in her mind but him, since the time she met him..
but she wouldnt..that wasnt meant to be
And even today she wonders..would things be different if she had answered differently..should she regret?
On a hindsight she feels..it ended as it was meant to..beautiful as long as it existed
Monday, March 9, 2009
Tagged
I have been tagged by Raina. She had tagged me earlier but I never got around to answering them, as I dont take it as a time pass..but a huge task.
So here I go..as true to myself as I can get
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I was told that my mom and mausis were watching a movie "Phir bhi"(very lesser known) and they liked the name "Sumi"..and thats where my nick name comes from..and my mom feels that naming me after that character has affected my life too in some way :)
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
If crying means tears flowing out, then I cant really remember..or maybe I do..some days back when I fought with my sister
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I used to..it has deteriorated with time..as everything else
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Fish..it has Omega 3 you see..am a health freak
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Not as yet..have planned many times though :)
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I would certainly admire that other person..friends not sure of
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
People tell me I do..but its never intentional
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Nope..was taken out when I was 11
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
With time I have become scared of lots of things...so dont think I would do this
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL
Musseli..fruit one
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
I hardly wear shoes..but when I do..I usually untie them before taking them off
12. IF YOU WERE TO PICK YOU OWN FIRST NAME, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Definitely not the one I have...noone pronounces it correctly..hmm maybe a simpler one
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Not so much into ice creams..Vanilla my fav flaour if I have to choose
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
The way they talk..voice and mannerisms
15. RED OR PINK?
Red
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Procrastination
17. WHOM DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Myself..as I was years ago
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
I am not tagging anyone..so no expectations in this regard
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Am not wearing any of those things right now
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Mar jawaan - Fashion..latest favorite
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Pink
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Davidoff Cool Waters..if you ask me perfume
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
A friend...
25. HOW DO YOU KNOW THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
My cousin
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Cricket
27. HAIR COLOR?
Brown
28. EYE COLOR?
Black
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Thai...any preparation with lemon grass and basil
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Dev D
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Thats a very lame and boring question..dont wanna answer
34. SUMMER OR WINTER
Winter
35. HUGS OR KISSES
Both..am greedy :)
36. DESCRIBE YOUR PENCIL CUP
I don’t have one
38. FAVORITE ARTIST(s)?
In which sphere?I need more specific question
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Lolita...its chilling
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Dont have one
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Watching Splirsvilla 2 right now
42. FAVORITE SOUND(S).
I wish I had so many favorites..
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Not into english much
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
US of A
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
So many...can dance, can sing(though some people might not agree with me), can write..and can cook well if given the recipe
46. WHERE WERE U BORN?
Patna
47. FAVORITE PIECE OF JEWELRY?
Junk jwellery..earing..bracelet...anything
48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
Presumptuous question
49. FAVORITE SONG?
ALl favs cant be listed..but the latest is..Rehna tu..and mar jaawan
50.Favorite Musical?
Mama Mia..love the song "I see you slipping away each day" (Have not got the words right but loved the way it was picturised).Though I dont have a daughter but could totally get into the emotions
So here I go..as true to myself as I can get
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I was told that my mom and mausis were watching a movie "Phir bhi"(very lesser known) and they liked the name "Sumi"..and thats where my nick name comes from..and my mom feels that naming me after that character has affected my life too in some way :)
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
If crying means tears flowing out, then I cant really remember..or maybe I do..some days back when I fought with my sister
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I used to..it has deteriorated with time..as everything else
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Fish..it has Omega 3 you see..am a health freak
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Not as yet..have planned many times though :)
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I would certainly admire that other person..friends not sure of
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
People tell me I do..but its never intentional
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Nope..was taken out when I was 11
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
With time I have become scared of lots of things...so dont think I would do this
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL
Musseli..fruit one
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
I hardly wear shoes..but when I do..I usually untie them before taking them off
12. IF YOU WERE TO PICK YOU OWN FIRST NAME, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Definitely not the one I have...noone pronounces it correctly..hmm maybe a simpler one
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Not so much into ice creams..Vanilla my fav flaour if I have to choose
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
The way they talk..voice and mannerisms
15. RED OR PINK?
Red
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Procrastination
17. WHOM DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Myself..as I was years ago
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
I am not tagging anyone..so no expectations in this regard
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Am not wearing any of those things right now
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Mar jawaan - Fashion..latest favorite
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Pink
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Davidoff Cool Waters..if you ask me perfume
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
A friend...
25. HOW DO YOU KNOW THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
My cousin
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Cricket
27. HAIR COLOR?
Brown
28. EYE COLOR?
Black
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Thai...any preparation with lemon grass and basil
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Dev D
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Thats a very lame and boring question..dont wanna answer
34. SUMMER OR WINTER
Winter
35. HUGS OR KISSES
Both..am greedy :)
36. DESCRIBE YOUR PENCIL CUP
I don’t have one
38. FAVORITE ARTIST(s)?
In which sphere?I need more specific question
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Lolita...its chilling
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Dont have one
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Watching Splirsvilla 2 right now
42. FAVORITE SOUND(S).
I wish I had so many favorites..
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Not into english much
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
US of A
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
So many...can dance, can sing(though some people might not agree with me), can write..and can cook well if given the recipe
46. WHERE WERE U BORN?
Patna
47. FAVORITE PIECE OF JEWELRY?
Junk jwellery..earing..bracelet...anything
48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
Presumptuous question
49. FAVORITE SONG?
ALl favs cant be listed..but the latest is..Rehna tu..and mar jaawan
50.Favorite Musical?
Mama Mia..love the song "I see you slipping away each day" (Have not got the words right but loved the way it was picturised).Though I dont have a daughter but could totally get into the emotions
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