A single lie destroys a whole reputation of integrity

I don't do well with lies. How small or big they are
And also moulding a truth, blatantly staring at your face, into small piles of lies so that the whole big pile is a big lie, yet the person doing it considers everything as SMALL

whats the problem with some people to not state the obvious, and degenrate into lies, when it is so much easier and better to just blurt the truth and get done with it?

Honesty can be so beautiful.
Some people just shine, and we know its the blatant honesty in them which gives them an aura

you dont need to be the best..just be honest...to be a greater person than who you are right now..even if the honesty affects you badly

the pathetic attempts to hide the obvious, the pain to stand by a lie(which would not even matter in the long run of life) ,gives a certain ugliness to people, beyond their imagination

Some people lie for nothing, like these:

“I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I'm going, I'm liable to say I'm going to the opera. It's terrible.”  

" A liar knows that he is a liar, but one who speaks mere portions of truth in order to deceive is a craftsman of destruction."

"I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you" - Nietzsche

"It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one" - George Washington

The moment you drop your guards, the moment your face falls, and then shines with the truth,
there is a bit of me that becomes yours, and there is a bit of you that becomes mine

In that moment of truth, we own each other..thats the only way to own and be owned
Every lie is a separation, a killing of something which could have been

"I step into the harsh light of the truth,  because when you stand in that light
You make self right, you find forgiveness
you find happiness, you find love"~ One Tree Hill

His antics and my heart

 He comes near me and sits quietly, tired from playing in the playgroud
Very unlikely for him to be so low, given his high energy levels, at all times

I tell him I need to go, for some work
And he, inspite of his low energy, squeaks "नहीं, तुम मत जाओ " (No, you don't go)

My love for him finds its roots, and I stay back for a few minutes, all the while trying to distract him with something
"I will get you more mentos (his favorite toffee)"
And for once he is not excited, his face shows his disinterest and he does not smile

"Show me your drawings, what did you draw today"
His governess shows me, while he unwillingly and half heartedly participates
And the very next moment he is back to "Don't go please"

Sometimes your heart just fills with love, and saddens at the same time.
With all the premonitions...
The future of him growing up and growing apart,
Me going out of his life..
All that in just that moment of sweetness, when he so wants me around him

I try again to take his mind off my going away, while I attempt tp quietly slip out

"Look at this song on TV, its so nice..your favorite"
 "When this song finishes, then you can go"..he tries to bargain, and looks up at me..to delay my going

And I love him a little more..if thats possible!

I tell him "I am just going to Sony world(a place near his house) and come back soon"
And his face lightens up

He goes to the couch and lies down face flat
I ask him "whats wrong?"
He says "निन्नी आ रही है "(I am sleepy)..and he really looks so tired and sleepy

I ask him to give me a hug,he opens his arms and as I hug him he says softly
"You are goign to Sony world na? Go to and come back soon!"

I just wish he forgets that I promised to come back, and is cheerful once he wakes up..which am sure he would be

My guilt of lying to him, weighs me down...

Oh the million ways this heart can break!

Empty heart

Sometimes the heart is completely empty

You try to fill it, with all the notions of happiness

With things like : Count your blessings, reckon your achievements

But the walls of your heart reject each and all of those ideas, like mismatched blood

Or is it that some people are just made like that? Their DNA rejects drips of sanity and happiness?
They can only filter out grief, absurditiies of heart, malfunctioning of brain

A forlorn, miserable identity carved into their system, unknown to them

I tried making happiness complete me
But what made me whole, was the emptiness of it all

Its done :)

Its done and I have cleared it..whatever it was I wrote about here http://memoriesofaworldelsewhere.blogspot.in/2013/07/quick-post.html

And thanks to those who wished me luck :)

Update - It was a PMP certification from PMI. Would make sense to only those you know about it though

Love it

He reminds me of tea and coffee
of sunshine falling on hills before sunset

the ceramics cups and galsses in my kitchen..adding colour to the life around me
and of the inebriated state of marijuana

Yes he is is like that......

Or is it I who has made him like one??

with my forever state of marijuana inebiration
with myself?

whatever it is..its nice to be in it
either him or me..making us larger than what we are

Love it, cos I done have much to love anywhere else!

Feminist?

I was filling up some applications for some official stuff and there was a column which said

Father's name :-
Husband's name (if applicable) ;-

I , as per habit, cut off the husband part and wrote my father's name and carried on with other sections of the form.
In a few seconds it struck me that I do have a husband now and realised I might have to re-do this page and got a little miffed about the re-work.

And in that moment I realised whats this whole thing about a woman having to write father's or husband's name? What does it warranty?

So a mother or a wife has no bearing in anything official? Why doesn't a form ever ask for their names? They do not have an identity or presence strong enough in your lives to be required on a form?

Sometimes I wonder why do I hold on to things like this? Why cant I just accept that it is after all a man's world and do whats required without gumption?

Well, if I could do that..it would not be me

My other sister's are not like me, and they also tell me that there are things I should let go, as a woman.

Why do I strive for an equiality in every sphere?Why does it bother me so much that I can ruin it all, just to retain that image of justice in my brain?

I guess there are parts of you, which are away from genes, from up-bringing, from siblings, from the country you are born in

Does that categorize me as "Feminist"..hell if it does! Aiming for euqlaity has names in this world?
Some people derive pleasure in calling someone a "feminist" as if its some abuse..I pity at the mentality of such people who chose to be less humane and blame it on someone who tries to be more?

Sometimes I feel my sense of equality and freedom and  individuality will be my end!
So be it!!!

Quick Post

I have been away for more than a month, ,with lots of thoughts to write about..but not much of time or inclination.
So all that is lying in my draft, or my phone's notes.

But thats cos I have been busy with preparing for something pretty extensively.
And I need best wishes from all on that front.

I will let you know what it is and how it goes, when that happens.

I just had to write this post, cos I cant let my blog abandoned for long.