This thing called "Suffering"

In my lifetime I have seen a lot of people..different kinds...
They differ in their emotions, the way they react to their emotions,

the way they build a wall around themselves
I guess we need to do that in self defense, cos we are all scared of being

too vulnerable by virtue of what we are..
We can not let the other person know the real us, cos we feel

that letting others see as we are ,would let us open to all sorts of hurt,

will let the world see our weaknesses and use it.
And another danegerous trait is that of seeking attention,

love and adulation..AND when one is not loved as one wants to be,

one is not the cynosure of all eyes..outcomes are disastrous.
Love and attention is like an intoxication.

People bask in the glory and tend to become something else under the influence of such toxins. They try to be what others want them to be, fit into their pharma, try to live up to what is expected of them, without knowing if they really want to be like that.
This fear in people, of losing attention, of losing control on others and eventually of becoming unimportant to others, rules the way they behave.
Off late I realised that sometimes people cash onto their suffering also, just to get what they can not otherwise.
They build a monument of their suffering, talk of emotions and sentimentality, as if its a virtue! And in this "self-justified" monument, they reside as Gods and Godesses and assess all and sundry based on how others provide offerings to them. Thier sense of right and wrong is based solely on what they get from others.
Every act of theirs is justified cos they have been doomed...and whatever worng they do people say "Its the situation that made them like that"..
Recently I was reading "Razor's Edge" by Somerset Maughm, that people are always what they are, situation just brings out that dormant part in them..I agree to it mostly
But then what are people without situations? When we are happy in someone's company, its not just that one person who contributes to the happiness..the environment and surroundings also contribute to that..and when we remember that moment later, we also rememebr the music played, the smell in the air, the way sun shone and the touch of the wind..

Somehow I tend to digress from what I started to write..and I forget what I was writing about..and get confused in my own mesh...
Same has happened now...Now I try to bring this peice of writing to a conclusion..but in vain..so be it :)