Yet again thoughts of love were on my mind..and the whys which go with it

How much of negativity can a person spread with words and how much of it can one take?
I look for love around, but there is so much of un-love swarming around me that I get back to being my wrong self
In words, in actions, in disapprovals and indifference..there is just too much of un-love sitting around the corner to grab you
Its like some people are out there to jinx all your happiness, even from a distance they can cast a spell, like voo-doo, like black magic

But no, hush, I had love in my mind today..of discourses over coffee or wine in a secluded bar, wishing to be in a stupor
Of my eva-de-clogne minglign with someone's musk
Of a season of the mind which is like reckless new year celebration on goan streets

Love is a state of mind, its a point in you, a point to the center of your being

You can love someone only when you are at peace with yourself,
When you are like that piece of cotton which can absorb everything, ever giving and ever receiving

But when you love cos you are disturbed or not in love with yourself, then you are actually trying to run away from yourself...diving into another person.
You can never love in a disturbed state of your mind, cos then you are actually unloving yourself, in the process of loving someone else
And an un-love for yourself never lasts...it can become an obsession..but never love. So when the other person does not love you back, you start taking out layers off that person, robbing him/her of all adornments you made that person shine with earlier. But its not so much peeling off layers from that person , as much about your loathing for your own weakness, which you realise with time. You are just removing shards of your own personality by owing or disowning things in another

So what do we see in another when we love?
Apart from all those desired qualities you seek in a person: viz honesty, integrity and all that crap, one thing I have heard most from people(and I say it too) is that sense of humor is something which can keep 2 people glued together.

But then is it just about the person's ability to make you laugh? Well, in that case one can go and watch a really cool comedy movie, isnt it?

No, love is that part of you which you will always love, that only part which you will respect in yourself

Love happens when that person pulls your center with a centrifugal force, out on the surface,
You are spilling all over, you are too much to bear, your aura has taken a different colour overnight
And universe is so happy with your "muchness"

Your edges are scathed and sparkle,
In fights and in banal talks, you feel the whole of you

Unlike some people, for whom love is just running away from themselves.Who try to negate every bit of you, who pick ulterior motive in all that you do or say, whose inadequacy starts showing up in you, whose bitterness spills all over you..such people are in-capable of loving, cos their own complexes will never let them love anyone

Sometimes I wonder if its the strong ones who have to bear the cacophony of the weak? Sometimes the strength that you exhibit, can be taken against you, to wear you down. So much that you start condemning your own strength.Just cos, they can not get to the core of you(but keep telling you that you dont have a core and they have you all figured out!)

You can become the same with them, and then its a spiral downwards. The next person you are with, you will spill your venom on him/her and the chain continues


For those who are ensconced in the grandeur of their own thoughts and believes..

Incidentally love is, and will always be about you, yourself

May each one of you find a valentine, to cherish this year..new or old..but someone your own..so much you