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I am not your mystery woman, I am not your muse..I am not your soulmate, just a passionate woman looking for her own peace of mind... Heart is a lonely hunter!!! "Within us there is someone who knows everything, wills everything, does everything better than we ourselves"~I guess this is Hermen Hesse

Friday, August 3, 2012

I am for keeps

I am in Gurgaon - late in the night..a Saturday night
Smell of smoke in the air
I am in a bar, a happening one, as per the standards

But I dint quite enjoy anything inside the bar  till now, I was just trying to sway to my moods, which dint uplift
I had a few beer mugs, but then I am a pro and a few beer mugs do nothing for me now

But suddenly, while I waited for people to finish what they were doing, I sat on the bench outside
Half drunk, half asleep, I looked up

There it was, my moon..I looked around..

There were women, head bent while they text-ed away to someone
Their faces convoluted in some fake misery, over a false love, over an emotion they so wanted in life, that they resorted to faking

I looked up again at the moon, inhaled the smoke, it gave me a high which the beer mugs could now
I was drowning in a sense of deja vu..I was one of those women sometime
Drunk, texting and madly in love..with someone..or with myself?

I could inhale the smoke the whole night and not budge
I was falling in love again...with something..someone..or the moment
Nostalgia of some kind hit me strong

Delhi of some other time floated in front of me

I dont know what I remembered, who I recalled, but I remember remembering...
That I am for keeps..that who belongs to me can never get away from me

13 comments:

Syed Ali Hamid said...

The last line, bold and in bold: Agreed.

wildflower said...

Once in a blue-moon, we deserve a High like that. Very well put Rajita.

Sayantan, etc. said...

Such places, which recall memories of special times, should always be cherished. Have a great time, drowning in alcohol and memories!

moonstruckmoth said...

Dunno y but ur post reminded me of one of Gulzar's commentaries for Fursat Ke Raat Din. I'm not sure if this ties in, in anyway w/ ur post, but this is wot stirred in me. Maybe it's the moon...or maybe not...

Kuch saaye, kuch parchaian,
Kuch chahat ke sajde

Kuch behte baadlon pe rakhi ummidein,
Barasti rahi, tarasti rahi

Chaand aasman mein jade suraakh ki tarah jhaakta raha

Aur raat...kisi andhe kuein ki tarah muh khole haanpti rahi

Raaste pao tale se nikalte rahe,
Na ruke,
Na thame,
Na roka, na pucha,
Zindagi kis talash mein hai

Zindagi thakne lagi hai,
Aur ye,
Zindagi ka judwa,
Uski ungli pakde,
Shaher ki nangi sadkon par,
Abhi tak kuch gin raha hai

Kuch dhoond raha hai

Ek Akela Is Shaher Mein...

Phew! To write this I had to listen to the song 8 times! I've never been good w/ lyrics!

Anisha said...

That I am for keeps..that who belongs to me can never get away from me.

Bold and beautiful.

Not Just My Allegories

Humayun Jamil said...

This muse isn't of the same level to which u have made us addicts... were u still intoxicated when u penned them....?

Humayun Jamil said...

Doesn't quite give the high
the way you have got
us addicted to ...!
Were you tipsy still
when u penned it down...!

Humayun Jamil said...

Doesn't quite give a high
the way you have got us
addicted to by your other posts...!

Were you still tipsy when
you penned them down...?

WomanInLove said...

Syed - :) I knew you would

Wildflower - Thanks, good to see you back

Sayantan - Alcohol is good, memories should be curbed

Raj - Wow, perfect lines for the mood I wanted to capture

A.P - Thank you :)

Humayun - I am sorry that it does not, and the message is loud and clear by your 3 comments :) But I am surprised that I see your comment only on the post which you dint quite like but not on others!

Soumya said...

Now this post takes me back to sometime. I don't remember when, where and who but I do remember remembering in a situation like this.

Loved the last line Rajita. It touched the core of my heart.

WomanInLove said...

Thanks Soumya!

Syed Ali Hamid said...

No post for a long time? Hope everything is fine with you.

WomanInLove said...

Syed - I think there are too many things on my mind these days and my blog is taking its beating. I am really not happy with it though. But here you go. A new post