Just a mad day!

We cry..cos we want things! We feel angry..cos we belive we are entitled to happiness! We feel sad..cos we think we deserve the best.we feel dejected..cos we compare.

SOOOOO..how will it be if we think we don't deserve anything..or if we feel happy for whatever others have got..and it does not matter if we get all the love, money and care in this world??
Would be fun I guess..when you no longer disassociate yourself and your happiness from happiness of others..when you want things beyond the realm of self-gratification

Well..she is having such thoughts cos she is in a state of delirium today..
Sometimes a day seems like a fight..and every single person seems to cause anxiety to her...
She feels she is dealing with too much all alone..house..work..and the growing heat!
She is running fever and misses someone to fuss over her..not that people dont care or dont ask..but just that special warmth..which comes only with an overpowering love..maybe she is missing her mom

She feels she has stopped throwing tantrums..cos she knows there is noone to bear it..she has stopped demanding things..cos there is noone to fulfill..she does not feel she has the right at anything..cos there is noone who will stand by her, in all her eccentricities
She wonders if we do need that someone..or is the need created by seeing others having that comfort with another person..where they can be themselves!

She thinks too much and speaks so less now..

The only solace she has is..one day all this will be gone..nothing is permanent..this transience brings her peace!

But just sometimes..she wants a heart..where her own heart can rest..safe and smug!