To hate or not to

It takes me a while to hate someone, whom I had liked a lot at any point in time
That person could be a relative, a friend..or a lover

I always try to find a reason to like the person, inspite of everything that transpired, which left a bad taste in my mouth

I look for reasons to think that its me who might have been wrong, specially if I liked the person immensely..
Cos in some ways I dont want to accept that my choice could be as wrong as it seemed like
If I defile the person in my mind, I feel as if I defile myself

Up until the point that this person sheds all his/her layers and stands stark in front of me..for exactly what s/he is worth

I just need that moment, when I can see that sparkling truth about that person, and my mind gets so clear, clear from everything which had blinded and misled me earlier

Then I can hate, then its so easy to forget everything

The process is long-winded but it does happen, it sets me free
And this new-found hatred, is a welcome one