I sit on the couch for hours watching back to back recorded episodes
of "Grey'a anatomy" (the earlier ones on star plus and later ones on Zee
Cafe), One tree hill, mad men..and anything which catches my fancy
while flipping channels
I start feeling as if I was born and raised on this couch
So how does it feel being so free and having time to yourself to pursue whatever you want, must be really great!
NO it sucks!
There were so many interests I pursued earlier, while I was working and they seemed interesting to me
Now even dance does not excite me...cos everything looks like a compensation for something major I am missing in life
My job..I dont recall a day of my life where I ever thought I would not be working
Even the blog was such a respite earlier..and now it seems like a task!
Some women might be OK not working after marriage, but I was never going to be that woman, thats what I had sworn to myself
And look where life gets you sometimes...amongst the 3 of we sisters, I am the only one not earning right now
The body loses its energy if it does not do what its always meant to...then no substitute is enough.. reading..dancing..fashion...dining out...nothing helps!
So every day I go through such weird thoughts, sitting alone on the couch, willingness to move having left me
Then I pick up broken pieces of my heart and start all over with.....hmmm Grey's anatomy... err One tree hill..
I start feeling as if I was born and raised on this couch
So how does it feel being so free and having time to yourself to pursue whatever you want, must be really great!
NO it sucks!
There were so many interests I pursued earlier, while I was working and they seemed interesting to me
Now even dance does not excite me...cos everything looks like a compensation for something major I am missing in life
My job..I dont recall a day of my life where I ever thought I would not be working
Even the blog was such a respite earlier..and now it seems like a task!
Some women might be OK not working after marriage, but I was never going to be that woman, thats what I had sworn to myself
And look where life gets you sometimes...amongst the 3 of we sisters, I am the only one not earning right now
The body loses its energy if it does not do what its always meant to...then no substitute is enough.. reading..dancing..fashion...dining out...nothing helps!
So every day I go through such weird thoughts, sitting alone on the couch, willingness to move having left me
Then I pick up broken pieces of my heart and start all over with.....hmmm Grey's anatomy... err One tree hill..
6 comments:
Arey mere early retirement plan ka kya hoga ;-). I hope you will enjoy idle day more.
I love Mad Men, i almost watching it back to back, 3rd season mein hoon abhi. So many thing to learn for us :-).
And, most importantly, congratulation on your wedding.
Once you have got used to working, it's difficult to sit idle. I can understand your plight. I was myself terrified of my approaching retirement as I am enjoying teaching even more than before with, what I consider, my maturity of thought and compassion that comes with age. Thankfully, the govt. has increased the age of retirement of univ. teachers here to 65, following the UGC recommendations. That's a great relief for me, as I work not only for my salary but also because I've always loved being a teacher.
But since this is only a temporary phase in your life, so enjoy it and look forward to a new job in the near future. Best wishes.
Hey Kabir, good to see you here after long. Well retirement is a phase you get in when most of your milestones are achieved, and even if they are not, you can not help it. But what I am into, is something premature and I could have helped
And yeah thanks :)
Syed - I am just scared that I would not even know when this temporary phase becomes permanent. Thats why I am fighting and hating it as much as I can so that I do my best to get out of it
Staying jobless for any longer than a weekend is a horrible thing. It's another matter that when doing a job, Mondays suck. But when not doing a job, you actually start looking for work any damn day. It develops into an instinct, keeping yourself busy with something you love doing.
I wish you find a job soon.. all the best and stay positive...
Thanks Sayantan!
Work is blessing
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